Archive for 03/02/16

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     <span style="color: #3d85c6;">Miami: cooler than you in every way</span><br />
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    </span><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Meinzahn / Thinkstock</span><br />

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                    From wonderfully chaotic clubbing in the heart of
 the Alps to a Japanese Penis Festival and a burning capital city. April
 needn’t be boring at all.<br />

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<strong>For beach bums…</strong><br />

<strong>Short haul: Sicily, Italy</strong><br />

Sizzling Sicily is one of the first destinations in Europe to be 
blessed with the presence of summer, which brings this Italian island up
 to bathing temperature in April.<br />

This is arguably the best time of the year to visit; the wild flowers
 are in bloom, the beaches are largely deserted and hotel rates are 
competitive.<br />

But it’s not all about the beaches, glorious though they are. In Palermo,
 Siracusa and Catania, Sicily has exquisite historic cities, as well as 
ancient Roman ruins, crumbling Greek temples and Europe’s largest active
 volcano, Mount Etna. And the food? You're in Italy, so let’s just say you’ll be carrying some holiday weight when you get home.<br />
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<span class="img_copyright"><span class="inlineCaption">Sicily starts sizzling in April, but its beaches are largely empty</span><br />antonino gitto / Thinkstock</span>
<strong>Long haul: Miami, USA</strong><br />

Of course you can sizzle on Miami’s
 feted golden sands anytime of the year, but if you have a penchant for 
poetry, laughter and dancing, as well as sunbathing, then April is the 
month for you.<br />

The city will host a smorgasbord of cultural events
 throughout the month, kicking off with O, Miami Poetry Festival (1-30 
April), which has a simple mission: to make sure everyone in Miami 
encounters poetry.<br />

As well as recitals and writing workshops, visitors will be able to 
catch some comedy at South Beach Comedy Festival (8-11 April), feast 
their eyes on performance art at Miami Dance Festival (4 April – 24 May)
 and marvel at the flamboyance of Gay Pride (10-12 April).<br />
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<span class="img_copyright"><span class="inlineCaption">It's all about beaches in bards in Miami come April</span><br />ventdusud / Thinkstock</span>
<strong>For adrenaline junkies…</strong><br />

<strong>Short haul: Edinburgh, Scotland</strong><br />

Celebrate the coming of summer by lathering yourself in blue body paint, heading to a remote Edinburgh hillside after dark and standing dangerously close to an open flame.<br />

The Beltane Fire Festival,
 held annually on 30 April, is a modern interpretation of an Iron Age 
Celtic ritual, which straddles the intersection between an immersive 
dance show, peculiar theatre production and ill-planned pyrotechnic 
display.<br />

The spectacle begins at the base of Calton Hill, where audiences 
stalk the May Queen and the Green Man as they journey to the summit, 
encountering a whole host of perplexing characters en route. Upon 
successfully reaching the top, the bonfire is lit, audience and 
performers mix, and a convivial atmosphere ignites – this is, after all,
 a festival of courtship and fertility.<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span class="img_copyright"><span class="inlineCaption">The festival celebrates the beginning of summer</span><br />Jeff J Mitchell / Thinkstock</span></span></div>
<strong>Long haul: Luang Prabang, Laos</strong><br />

It’s 16 April and you’ve woken to find Luang Prabang wrapped in war. 
You dart from your hostel, weapon loaded and nerves steadied, when 
suddenly, splash; you’re sopping wet. A young Lao girl hangs out of the 
overhead window cackling hysterically.<br />

This is Boun Pi Mai, Laos’ New Year water festival. More humble than 
neighbouring Thailand’s Songkran, where drinking has started to take 
precedence over ancient traditions, the celebration ensures a jovial, 
yet heart-pounding, opening to the Laos New Year.<br />

It isn’t all about super soaking though; other notable festivities 
include garlanding statues with flowers, traditional dance displays and 
the symbolic releasing of animals.<br />
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 <span class="img_copyright"><span class="inlineCaption">Locals and tourists get involved in the celebration</span><br />Mostmanus / Thinkstock</span><br />

<strong>For city slickers…</strong><br />

<strong>Short haul: Mayrhofen, Austria</strong><br />

Snow hounds rave about carving fresh tracks across the wilds of Afghanistan and boarding past the bloody sport of buzkashi in Kyrgyzstan, but as intrepid as they are, they’re missing the point.<br />

Get back to the Alps and back to the après-ski with six full-on (and 
we mean matchsticks-propping-open-eyelids kind of full-on) days and 
nights of powder cutting and partying at Snowbombing (4-9 April).<br />

Cannoning out concerts in forest clearings and sticking DJs in 
igloos, there are few events that can match the mighty madness of Mayrhofen.
 The Prodigy, Fatboy Slim, Jamie Jones and Jungle are all performing 
this year, although grabbing an 8.30am continental breakfast ahead of 
the ski lifts doesn’t seem likely.<br />
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<span class="img_copyright"><span class="inlineCaption">Snowbombing takes après-ski to a new level</span><br />Snowbombing</span>
<strong>Long haul: Kawasaki, Japan</strong><br />

Saunter beneath the shadows of the grubby towers of Kawasaki 
throughout the year and you will look like a dick. Arrive in April and 
you’ll be surrounded by them – but that’s the point because on Sunday 3 
April it’s home to the 'Festival of the Steel Phallus', otherwise known 
as Japan's Penis Festival.<br />

Keeping a (s)long story short, Kawasaki celebrates this up-standing 
event because of an Edo-era (1603-1868) legend about a woman who turned 
away the advances of a sharp-toothed demon, marrying someone else. As 
payback, he wormed into her vagina and bit off the dongs of her two 
husbands. As a solution, a local blacksmith shaped a steel phallus that,
 upon insertion, broke the demon’s teeth making him flee. Mad, right?<br />

Celebrate the story at the Kanayama Shrine with a penis parade, sake 
that tastes like semen, knob-carving lessons and plenty of 
beaver-bashing merchandise, including the perennially popular penis 
lollipops. <br />
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